By Roberto Fuller
Building Your “Be Nice Muscles”: How to Practice Kindness Every Day
Every man wants to be buff. Every woman wants to be “hot“. Everyone hits the gym and trains frantically and watches their diet until the holidays roll around. lol. We often talk about physical fitness—lifting weights, running miles, eating clean. But what about emotional and relational fitness? Just like going to the gym builds muscle, practicing kindness daily builds what we might call your “Be Nice Muscles.” These muscles don’t just make you more pleasant to be around; they strengthen your relationships, improve your mental health, and create a ripple effect that touches every corner of your life. It’s the only muscle that we can train daily and not have to use icy hot, and biofreeze.
Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s strength in action. But being consistently kind takes effort, intentionality, and sometimes, patience—especially in a world where stress, distractions, and misunderstandings are common. The good news? Kindness is a skill that can be developed. Here’s how to start building your “Be Nice Muscles” and why it matters more than ever.
Being nice is more than just being polite or saying “please” and “thank you.” It’s about practicing empathy, showing respect, and offering compassion, even when it’s not easy or convenient.
Scientific studies show that kindness:
Boosts your mood: Acts of kindness trigger the release of serotonin and dopamine, the brain’s natural feel-good chemicals.
Improves relationships: Being kind fosters trust and connection.
Reduces stress: People who consistently practice kindness report lower levels of anxiety and depression.
Spreads positivity: Your kind actions encourage others to be kind, creating a cycle of goodwill.
So if kindness is this powerful, how can we train ourselves to be more consistently kind, even when we’re tired, annoyed, or dealing with difficult people? Well – I’m glad you asked.
Step 1: Understand That Kindness Is a Choice
Kindness isn’t just something that “happens” when you’re in a good mood. It’s a decision. You choose to smile. You choose not to snap back. You choose to offer someone grace, even when it feels undeserved.
Start by accepting full ownership of your attitude. You can’t control others’ behavior, but you can control your response. This mental shift is the first and most important rep in building your “Be Nice Muscles.”
Step 2: Start Small – But Be Consistent
You don’t need grand gestures to make a big impact. In fact, it’s the small, consistent acts that matter most.
Hold the door for someone.
Compliment a coworker.
Say hello to the cashier.
Let someone merge in traffic without honking.
Send a quick text to check on a friend.
These tiny actions are like doing daily push-ups for your character. They’re easy to do—and easy not to do. But over time, they add up to a life filled with meaningful, positive connections.
Step 3: Practice “Kindness Under Pressure”
Here’s where the real workout begins. It’s easy to be nice when everything’s going smoothly. But what about when:
Someone cuts you off in traffic?
A colleague takes credit for your idea?
A stranger is rude for no reason?
Someone steps on your bunions accidentally?
These are your “heavy lifting” moments. This is where you grow. Choosing kindness in hard moments doesn’t mean being a doormat—it means responding with dignity and grace. It may sound soft, but it takes real inner strength to stay calm and kind when you’re under pressure.
A helpful trick? Pause before reacting/cursing. Take a breath, and ask yourself, “What would the kind version of me do in this moment?”
Step 4: Don’t Just Be Nice—Notice People
Being kind isn’t only about what you do—it’s also about how well you see others.
Notice the quiet person in the room.
Recognize the effort someone put into something.
Acknowledge someone’s feelings or point of view.
When people feel seen, they feel valued. And when people feel valued, they respond in kind. This deeper level of niceness builds empathy and emotional intelligence—both essential for strong relationships.
Step 5: Be Nice to Yourself, Too
You can’t pour from an empty cup. In other words, Treat yourself first. Self-kindness isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Talk to yourself with the same gentleness and encouragement you’d offer a friend. Forgive your mistakes. Rest when you need it. Give yourself space to grow.
The way you treat yourself sets the tone for how you treat others. A well-developed “Be Nice Muscle” includes kindness turned inward.
Step 6: Make It a Daily Habit
Like any good workout, consistency is key. Try building a kindness ritual into your daily routine:
In the morning, set an intention: “Today I will find one opportunity to make someone’s day better.”
Keep a kindness journal: Write down something kind you did or experienced each day.
Use tech for good: Send uplifting texts or voice notes to people just because.
Think of it like brushing your teeth. Small, regular habits prevent decay—in your relationships and your mindset.
Final Thoughts: Being Nice Is a Legacy
The world can be harsh, chaotic, and divisive. But your decision to be kind, day in and day out, is a quiet rebellion against that noise. It’s a statement of values. It’s a way of being that inspires, comforts, and uplifts.
You may not always see the impact of your actions. But kindness has a way of echoing far beyond the moment. One smile, one kind word, one patient response—these can change someone’s entire day. And enough changed days can change a life.
So flex those “Be Nice Muscles.” Train them daily. Use them generously. Because the strongest people aren’t always the loudest or the toughest—they’re the ones who are kind, even when they don’t have to be.
And that kind of strength? That’s the stuff real change is made of.
So try building your BE NICE MUSCLES; it’s the only muscle that everyone can build regardless of age, health, and you don’t need a gym membership.
